Thursday, June 6, 2013

First Rewrite/Second Draft: THIRD INTERLUDE of 'Part 1, Nicolae's Escape' added

So as I work on the first rewrite/second draft, I ended up adding a third interlude in PART 1, NICOLAE'S ESCAPE.  It takes place between Chapters 6 & 7 and I think (at least so far) offers a smoother transition into the introduction of Teresa's "voices" and the beginning of her descent into hell, so to speak.  It also has a little sexual content to steam up your Thursday night a little.
This interlude is sort of a dream, sort of not as many of these experiences in the story are...


It was whispering to her again.
Teresa sat up, opening her eyes and adjusting to her surroundings.  Once her vision cleared, she was able to see that she was at the edge of the woods near a village that appeared a little more run down than her village in Aragon was.  It was still night and everything was quiet around her save for the sounds of night insects chirping in the field and brush.  Teresa picked herself up to standing, brushed her skirt off and took a look around.  The village was softly lit by moonlight and was in the middle of the field, but not too far away from where she stood.  Across the field, she could see what looked to be a large, stone structure.  It was cloaked in shadow but she could see that there were a few towers that stuck up from the roof.
“A castle?” she wondered aloud and stopped short at the sound of her voice.  It sounded empty, almost as though someone hit a tin bell.  The large fortress seemed to call out to her and she was about to make her way across the field so she could get a better look at it when she noticed movement pass by the last hut of the village and down the field toward the forest, a little ways down from where Teresa stood.  When Teresa turned in the direction of the moving shadows, she saw that they were actually two people, a young man and a young woman. Teresa took a few steps toward the couple, watching them.  Her eyes widened when she recognized the young man as being Nicolae.  His hair was a little shorter and he didn’t have his facial hair…but it was definitely Nicolae!  Teresa could tell by the way he moved.  She would know him anywhere.
Teresa ran, trying to catch up to them and calling out to Nicolae.  He did not seem to hear her and she came to an abrupt stop when she saw that he was holding the hand of the woman he was with.  Teresa tried to get a better look at the other young woman’s face.  But the woman had her face turned to Nicolae and all Teresa was able to see was the waist-length, straight, black hair she had.  Teresa was filled with even more horror when she caught the adoring way Nicolae was looking at this other woman as the two of them entered the woods together. 
No! What is he doing with her?! Teresa thought as she picked up running in the direction they had gone in.  Bolts of electricity shot through her at the thought of just witnessing Nicolae with another woman.  Teresa ran through the woods, following after the hushed voices of Nicolae and the young woman.  Hearing their cozy and flirtatious conversation only heightened her sense of urgency in catching up to them.  She could feel a heated whirlpool anger stirring in the pit of her stomach and she was determined to get Nicolae away from the other woman regardless of what it cost her or what she would have to do.
Teresa approached a clearing and saw what appeared to be the glow of a small fire hidden amongst the cluster of trees.  She slowed down her steps, creeping toward the area as she heard their voices.  She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it was obvious that Nicolae and this other woman were enjoying one another’s company.
Teresa continued tiptoeing toward the fire in the brush.  The voices of Nicolae and the other woman had died down, but it wouldn’t be long before Teresa would figure out why.  Her breath caught in her throat when she was able to see what was beyond the tree brush.  Nicolae and the young woman were by the fire.  Nicolae was seated completely naked on a blanket normally that would have thrilled Teresa beyond anything she could ever know.  But Nicolae was clearly becoming aroused as he watched the young woman remove the last article of her clothing, playfully tossing it aside.  The woman’s dark eyes were fixed on him and he looked up at her with intense desire and love in his eyes.  Teresa looked at the woman’s lean, graceful frame covered by smooth, dark olive skin and breasts that were a perfect orb shape.  Her features were strong but delicate at the same time and her long, black hair was like silk.  Despite being a very beautiful young lady herself, Teresa felt many pangs of jealousy and insecurity shooting through her at the site of this other woman.
She’s everything I’m not…Teresa thought with waves of hopelessness washing over her.  She never felt particularly unattractive until that moment.  Teresa remembered a time not too long ago when Gabriella told her that her body shape was good for bearing children.
But I want a body Nicolae will want!  I feel like a short, stubby ogre compared to this other girl! Teresa thought with tears burning in her eyes.  She tried to turn away from what was before her, but some invisible force had her by the shoulders, forcing her to stare as the other woman spoke to Nicolae with a playful, seductive tone.  The woman knelt down in front of him as he closed his hands around both sides of her waist and moved his face into hers for a kiss. 
Teresa’s body began to shake as she watched the passion of Nicolae and the other woman grow more intense.  Nicolae lay back on the blanket as the other young woman moved her mouth over the scars that covered his chest.  Teresa had never seen Nicolae as open and vulnerable as he was with this other woman.  He was almost an entirely different person from the hardened, aloof man that Teresa knew.
“Please touch me…don’t stop…” Nicolae cried out, tangling his fingers through the strands of the woman’s hair.  The young woman continued with her gentle kisses and caresses across and down Nicolae’s torso.  Teresa was shocked to see Nicolae looking as though he were on the verge of tears.  It broke Teresa’s heart to see the pain Nicolae carried with him and she wanted to be the one comforting him.  He was so candide with this other woman and it was like pulling teeth for Teresa to even engage him in a small conversation.
The other young woman brought her face back up to Nicolae’s.  “Don’t cry, my love,” the woman whispered soothingly to Nicolae as she brushed away a tear that had escaped down his face.  “You’re with me.”  There was a small strain in the young woman’s voice that indicated that she too was on the verge of tearing up.  Nicolae brought his hands to cup the woman’s face before telling her, “I love you.”  He then kissed her with a deeper intensity than before.  The two of them shifted on the blanket to where Nicolae knelt with his knees planted on both sides of the young woman as she reached her arms up for him.  She let out soft moans as Nicolae began trailing kisses down her neck, across her breasts, and then down her stomach, stopping between her legs.  The young woman’s head tilted back as he began giving her pleasure there.
Teresa shut her eyes tightly as she didn’t want to see anymore.  Part of her was curious of the act Nicolae was performing on the young woman.  The extent of what Teresa knew of having relations with a man was performing her duties as a wife to give him children.  What she was witnessing between Nicolae and this other young woman was something more than that.  She could see the physical, emotional, and even spiritual connection that they had.  That was what overwhelmed Teresa.  The level of their intimacy was so deep and intense that even Teresa, who stood with her eyes closed at that moment, could feel the heat of their passion radiating from them.  And she realized then that it’s what she was missing.  That’s what she wanted from a marriage.  Someone who was a partner to her, not simply a husband she was bound to because he was chosen for her.  She wanted passion and a deep rooted emotional connection.
‘And you will have it,’ a voice whispered to her, ‘just be patient…’
But Teresa didn’t want to be patient.  She wanted that connection with Nicolae and wasn’t about to let some nameless woman get in her way.  Teresa could feel rage pulsing through her again.  She hated the young woman and wanted her dead.
‘Look…’ it whispered to her again.  Teresa looked down into her right hand and saw that she held the dagger that Nicolae had given to her.  She could feel her blood reaching a boiling point as she gripped the handle tightly to where the light olive skin on her knuckles began to turn white.  She felt the urge to kill, to drive the dagger into the young woman’s throat while she was distracted by Nicolae.
Then I’ll have him all to myself, she thought.
‘Teresa…’ the voice chided.  But Teresa was hardly paying attention and all she could see when she opened her eyes was Nicolae bringing the other woman to an exhilarating climax.  Teresa pointed the dagger in the direction of the unsuspecting lovers before her vision began to grow hazy…

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